This is for you.
You've scored really really high (there is no exact cutoff but I suggest 6.5 or more) on the Highly Sensitive Person Scale at www.hsperson.com. You don't have many friends. Other people just don't get you and maybe you don't get them.
You're tired of being told that your HSP is a superpower and that you should embrace it. You feel judged because you're told that HSPs can flourish and you're barely able to get up in the morning.
Maybe you've been diagnosed with anxiety or depression. Maybe you're dealing with chronic illnesses like fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, polycystic ovary syndrome, or irritable bowel syndrome.
High sensitivity lies on a spectrum. Different people have different levels of sensitivity. The higher you score, the more likely you'll think and feel very differently from other people, even other HSPs.
These are serious differences that affect every aspect of your life. It doesn't feel right to be told you're wonderful and empathic and creative and strong when your reality is that you're depressed, anxious, in pain, and feel like a social outcast.
Sensitivity Linked to Distressing Mental and Physical Symptoms
You're not crazy. Your experience is not unique. There's actually more and more research linking high sensitivity with chronic illnesses, physical symptoms, mental health disorders, and increased sensitivity to environmental stressors.
Studies have found connections between high sensitivity and anxiety, depression, lower levels of happiness and life satisfaction, poor stress management including difficulties with emotion regulation, physical symptoms of ill health, greater work displeasure and need for recovery, and quality of life issues in adolescents experiencing chronic pain.
Hyper-Sensitive People Think Differently
You get very high marks. Your intelligence is unparalleled. Yet you don't feel like a success in life because of your thinking style and your difficulty picking up on the subtle cues that people signal with their body language and tone of voice.
Maybe people get mad at you for taking things too literally or overthinking. Maybe it takes you forever to write a paper for school because there are so many nuances to every aspect of your topic. Maybe you agonize over multiple-choice exams because the answers can be interpreted in different ways.
Maybe you can't form relationships because people just hurt you all the time. They never say what they mean, and you're supposed to just figure it out on your own. When you don't, they get angry or ostracize you. You live in constant fear of not knowing what to say or do when you're with others.
I've noticed these thinking styles overlap with some characteristics of what used to be called Asperger's Syndrome – a way of thinking and feeling that's now called Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder. Researchers have actually discovered the same thing. For example some characteristics of high sensitivity, like Ease of Excitation and Low Sensory Threshold, are related to certain characteristics of Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder, specifically attention to details, poor social skills, and poor communication.
I'm not saying that highly sensitive people will all be diagnosed with Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder. There are many factors that go into a diagnosis, and a qualified professional needs to conduct a clinical interview before they can determine a diagnosis. However, there are connections between certain characteristics of HSPs and some characteristics of autism. So maybe some of the literature on high-functioning ASD can help you understand your particular form of HSP.
Do you have some characteristics of Level 1 ASD?
There are a number of self-tests for ASD including the Autism Spectrum Quotient test, and the Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test: revised version. I am not specialized in Autism Spectrum Disorder, thus cannot evaluate the quality of these tests.
Please use these tests only to see if your experience resonates with some of the questions.
Please be aware that the score on these tests does not indicate a diagnosis of ASD. Only a qualified professional (e.g. clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist who specialises in ASD) can diagnose ASD, using a full clinical interview.
How to Cope
I want to share some strategies that might help you. Some come from research, some from observations of my clients, and some from my own experience.
The following general strategies might help.
Get a calm buddy.
Get a pet. Just petting an animal for 2 minutes can reduce stress. I know it sounds simple, but the research backs this up.
Calm Your Body
Here's what I've learned: stress is a mediator of physical health in HSPs. That means if you're stressed, you'll feel more physical symptoms. Through observing my clients and myself, I've discovered that hyper-sensitive individuals – people who score very high on the HSP questionnaire – are intensely affected by bodily sensations. So often, calming our bodies will automatically remove the stressor that's making our mind so frantic.
Get Help for Your Medical or Mental Health Conditions
Many individuals who are hyper-sensitive also have medical or mental health conditions. I realize that for many of you who are struggling, it seems like a continual round of doctor’s appointments, which can make your life seem even more stressed. Since a number of conditions that hyper-sensitive people struggle with are systemic — they affect your entire body, or more than one system in your body — it can be difficult for doctors to determine what is wrong with you. Western medicine is not well suited to treating these sorts of diseases.
All I can recommend is to be patient, and hope that you will find a doctor who understands. Here is a list of medical professionals (doctors, dentists, nurses, chiropractors) who have completed a course or read studied a book/DVD and passed a test on high sensitivity. Functional medicine practitioners, osteopaths, or doctors who practise personalized and precision medicine all have an orientation which includes the entire body..
Also, remember that HSPs are extra-sensitive to adverse effects of medications. Talk to your medical professional about your sensitivity to medication (you may want to share the link above with them). Since hyper-sensitive people are extra-sensitive to medication, you may need a lower-than-normal dose of a prescribed medication. Ask your doctor whether you can start your medication at lower-than-normal dose, Also ask your doctor about the side-effects (the doctors call them adverse effects) of any medications you are prescribed. If you have any of these adverse effects, ask your doctor to review the current dose of those medications.
If you or your child are extremely bothered by sensitivities to sensory information i.e. noise, the way things feel, bright or flashing lights etc., you may want to investigate a condition called Sensory Processing Disorder.
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). This is an eight-week mindfulness training program with eight sessions of two and a half hours each. Participants commit to spending at least 45 minutes daily, six days a week, doing MBSR exercises during the training period. The program aims to teach you to be primarily oriented to the experience of the present moment. You're encouraged to allow and observe unpleasant thoughts and feelings without judging and fighting them.
The program has shown large effects on stress, social anxiety, personal growth, and self-acceptance in the regular population, which suggests it might also help HSPs. Researchers reported that HSPs who participated in the program suffered less from stress, had less social anxiety, and had more self-acceptance, even up to 4 weeks later. Some researchers think the model works because it changes cognitive reactivity – both the negative content of thoughts and thinking styles like rumination or avoidance that aren't helpful.
Yoga/Meditation
While the research wasn't specifically geared to HSPs, a six-week yoga/meditation program was linked to improvements in empathy and well-being.
Activities for HSPs/High Sensation Seekers. Personally, I discovered that being a high sensation seeker along with being an HSP makes it really uncomfortable to sit in meditation for even a few minutes. So I prefer to calm my body through techniques that emphasize slow rhythmic movement or release physical energy like the following:
· Acupuncture works for some people.
· Qi Gong and Tai Chi are gentle but engaging.
· Exercise releases serotonin, the feel-good chemical.
· Crafts and Chewing
Many individuals have noted that doing crafts with their hands makes them feel calmer.. And here's something interesting – activities that move the small muscles in your mouth or hands release serotonin, the calming chemical. Some examples include knitting/crocheting, painting, jigsaw puzzles, and woodworking, or even chewing food or gum.
The key is finding what works for your particular combination of sensitivities. You don't have to force yourself into a meditation practice if it makes you more anxious.
I know life can often feel overwhelming and you may not have much energy. So just do what you can. Take your time and slowly investigate any strategies that you think might help.
All the best,
Jadzia